Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
