I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
