Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
