she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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