the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I would ride that face into the sunset
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
