I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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