Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm always down for nudity.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
