what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
