Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
