I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
