He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
