He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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