never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
