I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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