if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
