apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
