you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize