So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
