i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
