So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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