I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
