If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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