In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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