I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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