More tranny stories later!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
