You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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