I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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