Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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