I got chris browned last night
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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