yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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