Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
