And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
