I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize