'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
