he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
