can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
