i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
