If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
