bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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