what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
