so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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