Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
