THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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