The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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