Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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