The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My vagina is very pro this idea
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
