I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
