Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
