Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
