Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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