It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Semen is not good for contacts.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
