You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize