Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
