You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize