He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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