my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
