I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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