suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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