Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
