I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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