Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
