On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
