i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
this is an emotional support booty call
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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