so that wasnt chicken after all
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
