I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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