I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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