You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize