Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We have started to decorate penises.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
