90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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