His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize