can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
