"it" just moved
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
