so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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