Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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