The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
