We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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