how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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