I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
